Buffy was grateful for sunset. Sunset meant patrol, which in turn mean a few hours of quiet. Except for the vampires, of course.

Right now, she wasn't particularly looking for vampires. The sun hadn't set that long ago and there were still streaks of color in the sky as she left the Doublemeat Palace behind. She decided to hit the main business district first, fan out to the alleys, then head for the cemeteries. Anyone who was going to rise would have done so by then.

The plan had the added advantage of taking her by the Magic Box. If luck was with her, Tara would still be there and they could talk. Buffy desperately felt the need of someone sane and rational to talk to.

Last night had been a disaster. Trust Spike to open his mouth at the wrong moment. Everything that had followed showed exactly why she hadn't wanted to let her friends know about…whatever it was between them.

She stubbornly pushed the words and images from her mind as she walked. Talk to Tara. Dear, kind, sensible Tara who didn't judge her, who seemed to understand how messy and complicated things were. If she could just stop the voices pounding in her head, maybe she could figure out what she needed to do next.

There was a fair amount of foot traffic on Main Street, people heading for the Sun Cinema, dinner or doing a little shopping. To Buffy's surprise, the Magic Box was already shuttered, a sign reading "Closed for Inventory" on the door. Peering through the window, she found the lights out and no sign of movement inside.

A bit worried and more than a little puzzled, Buffy tried to think of why the store might have closed early. Dawn hadn't said anything and Tara was pretty dependable as to keeping the store hours.

Of course, she hadn't talked to Dawn that morning, hiding in her room, refusing to come out until it was time for work.

"Buffy, wakey wakey." There was a knocking on the other side of the door. Buffy ignored it, lying on her back and staring at the ceiling. She'd hardly slept, her mind churning.

"Buffy? Breakfast time." The knocking became more insistent. "I'm making pancakes."

"I'm not hungry." That was true. Her stomach was knotted and the thought of food repulsive.

"Chocolate chip pancakes."

Why did Willow think chocolate would make the world all better? Her mom was gone, her sister seemed perpetually angry at her no matter what attempts Buffy made, she was stuck in a dead-end job and she'd pushed away the one thing in her life that let her forget how much everything hurt for just a little while because that was what she should do. Problem was, her friends knew about him now and they'd made their feelings quite clear last night. How was chocolate going to fix that?

"Buffy? I thought we could talk. Y'know, before class and work?"

"I just want to be alone."

The knocking continued for another minute and the doorknob rattled before she heard the sound of feet retreating down the hall.

Buffy peered through the window once more. No sign of a struggle. There was something a little funny about the display counter the register sat on, but she couldn't quite make it out. Might be a trick of the light.

Realizing no further information was to be gained by standing there, she reluctantly turned away. Maybe Tara had an emergency, had to close early. Dawn was probably already home. But if Tara had had to go, why wasn't Spike manning the fort? He'd proven irritatingly conscientious about the place, running things most days while Tara was in class according to Dawn and apparently often out of sight and handling the mail order side of the business when she was in. At least that was one thing Dawn was happy about these days; she was getting plenty of Spike and Tara time.

Shoving her hands into her coat pockets, Buffy turned her steps down the street. So, no Tara. That left checking the alleys and on to the cemeteries. She'd skip Sunnyrest tonight, she decided; no need to go anywhere near Spike's crypt. Then it'd be home to a mac and cheese dinner and the talk with Dawn. Oh, joy.

Her heart wasn't into the patrolling and she wondered if her limited funds would stretch to include a coffee drink from the Espresso Pump. It wouldn't solve world hunger or her problems, but it would give her five minutes of getting away from them. Well, maybe two if she bought a small drink, which she was pretty certain she could afford.

Just a slight change in course steered her toward sweet coffee goodness and the laughter of patrons that spilled onto the street. She was almost at the entrance when she spotted them, sitting at a table close to the front, talking and drinking as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Spike was sitting in that odd, lean-forward, shoulders slightly hunched way he had, one finger tracing the rim of his cup. He was speaking, a bit of a smile on his lips.

Tara was doing what she so often did: listening. From her expression it didn't seem to be a hardship. She appeared quite comfortable and Buffy had the sudden feeling she was intruding. She wasn't ready to deal with Spike anyway.

Before she could act on her firm intention to flee, Tara noticed her presence and waved. Spike tensed visibly as he turned in his seat to see who was behind him, shoulders relaxing only slightly as his eyes rested on her.

So not wanting this, but deciding saying hello would be less painful than the possibility of Spike heading after her if she bolted, Buffy put on her best fixed smile and made her way to the table. "Hi, Tara. I was going to drop by the shop, but I saw you guys had the closed sign up. Everything okay?"

Tara gave a small lift of her shoulders. "Spike and I decided to close up early, give ourselves a break. Don't worry; we sent Dawn home well before dark."

Buffy glanced down at Spike. He was staring into his cup, finger still tracing the rim. Tara could put a gloss on it if she want, but looking at him, she just knew they'd been discussing last night. "Hello, Spike," she said on impulse.

He looked up, a hint of surprise in his blue eyes. "Hello, Buffy." His voice was carefully neutral, holding back whatever he might be feeling.

It was a start. She'd actually said hello to him in front of someone else. True, it was Tara, who'd known about her…whatever with Spike for nearly two months, but it was something.

"Why don't you sit down?" Tara asked. "Was there something you needed from the shop?"

"Um…" Having succeeded in speaking civilly, she found herself freezing at sitting down at the same table, staring at the chair as if it might bite her.

After a long, painful moment, Spike rose, his chair scraping on the concrete floor. "Go on and sit down. I gotta be running along anyway."

"You don't have to…I mean, you were here first." It was an awkward little dance, both hovering between sitting and standing, staying and going."

"Sit and talk," he said softly. "It'll be good for you." With that, he turned his head back to Tara. "Between nine and ten, right?"

"Hopefully. And Mandy's put off until Monday."

"Good. I still have to deal with Maria tomorrow morning; she said she'd bring the shirt in. See you tomorrow afternoon."

Spike started leave, but stopped, coming back partway. "Dawn asked me about us this afternoon," he said. "Wanted to know how long we'd been dating."

Buffy winced. No, she was not looking forward to talking to Dawn. "What did you tell her?" she asked, unable to keep a defensive note from creeping in.

"Not much. Some bare facts, that it was over and the details were personal, which is why I didn't want to tell her. She inferred some things, so there may be some questions you don't like. She heard the argument last night. Sat on the top of the stairs after she was sent off." He glanced down to the floor and back up again. "Wanted you to know 'fore you talked to her."

Why was he so kind? Was he thinking of her or of Dawn? Dawn, she decided. To think otherwise was to tread in dangerous territory. "Thanks. I need all the help I can dealing with this one. Not the kind of thing they tell you about in the Slayer handbook."

The small joke earned a smiled that quickly faded in the awkward silence following. For a moment, she thought he would speak, give her something to push against, but he simply departed. Only when she lost sight of him did Buffy let her legs relax enough to sit.

"He was telling me about the first time he saw you," Tara said.

Buffy shivered. "That must have been cheery."

"Actually, it was kind of romantic -- well, allowing for the fact he was trying to kill you. I've never heard the story before."

That shouldn't be surprising, Buffy supposed. For all he loved to talk, Spike had never been conversation guy with the Scoobies.

"How are you holding up? Sounds like things didn't get better after I left."

Where did she…Dawn, most likely. "That is a bit of an understatement."

"What were you thinking? It's not like you don't know what he is. It's not like he's got a soul."

She thought they would have gotten the message when she walked out of The Bronze after telling them the subject was no longer open for discussion. But, no, they had been waiting for her, emerging from Xander's car as she came up the front walk.

"Now, Xander, we weren't going to attack Buffy. We're trying to help." Willow had fallen back into high school mode, playing the peacemaker. "Remember, 'I' statements only."

It was another intervention, and she didn't feel like putting up with it. Turning on her heel, she headed up the steps to the front door. As she stepped across the threshold, Xander spoke up. "Here's an 'I' statement: I feel betrayed."

The knot that had been building in her stomach twisted. She wanted to turn and scream at him, remind him what they'd done to her by playing God and bringing her back. Let's match betrayal for betrayal.

But she was Good Buffy and Good Buffy didn't scream at her friends or want to rip them apart because they were so pleased with themselves while she hurt.

"Okay, so that's a little judgey. Buffy, we're just worried about you; you made some wrong choices and we want to help.

"Help with what?" Dawn stood in the doorway to the living room, arms crossed.

"I don't need help, Willow."

"Well, you're clearly confused, 'cause I know you wouldn't have gone doing something like this without telling your bestest friend if you weren't."

"Confused? Try 'insane,' Will. That's the only reason I can see for this."

"What are you guys talking about? Buffy, what's going on?"

'Buffy apparently has been having a little 'thing,'" Xander nearly spit out the word, "going with Spike.

"You…and Spike?"

She lifted her head to look at her younger sister. Dawn looked surprised, but a bit angry as well. "Is that why he won't come by any more?"

"Buffy? Still in the land of the living?"

Tara's voice brought Buffy back to the present. "Sorry. Got a bit lost. No, it didn't get any better. In fact, it got worse. Willow's upset and Xander…I haven't seen that angry in a long time." Not since her friends had found out Angel had returned from hell and she was sheltering him -- their first "intervention."

"It's strange. Over the summer, I thought Xander was actually beginning like him. I mean, he made jokes and took pot shots at him, but they were getting along."

Buffy looked at the cup Spike had left on the table. There was still a little liquid left and if she tried, she could smell the cocoa. "Did you know Xander wanted to date me once? It was in high school."

"What happened?"

"I wasn't interested. I mean, I like Xander, he's one of my best friends, but I've always felt like he was a brother or something."

"Well, he does care about you. Do you want something?" Tara motioned for the waitress.

Irony reared its ugly head. She'd wanted to get a drink to get away from her problems. Now she was going to talk about them while she had one. "I was thinking of a small chocolate coffee blended."

"Sure you don't want a large? You look like you could use it. My treat."

Reluctantly, Buffy agreed, but it was a bit of a relief to be able to keep her money and get her drink. She didn't like to think about how tight the money was, with their meager reserve taking a hit from settling Dawn's shoplifting debts. Which of course made their situation look even more precarious to Social Services. Bad all around.

"So there's some jealousy there on Xander's part," Tara said once the waitress took the order.

Buffy shrugged. "A lot of it's tied up in his feelings about Angel. He always resented the fact I chose a vampire over him."

"And Spike, being another vampire…"

"One who isn't at all repentant about who and what he is, like Angel was…is." When had she started thinking of him in the past tense?

"I think I'm beginning to see part of the problem." Tara picked up her cup as if to drink, then set it back down. "Buffy, how important is it that Willow and Xander approve of what you're doing?"

"They're my friends." Where had that come from?

"Are you going to stop doing something just because they don't approve?"

"Tara, if you're saying I stopped sleeping with Spike just because Willow and Xander…"

She shook her head. "No, sweetie. This is about more than just you and Spike. I know Will at least has some very definite ideas about what you should be doing and Xander acts like he does too. Sometimes those ideas are going to conflict with what you want. You're the only one who can decide what's best for you and Willow and Xander need to learn to accept that."

Buffy's drink arrived, icy chocolate goodness seriously laced with coffee, guaranteed to keep her peppy and wired for patrol. Buffy drank, polishing off nearly half the cup in one gulp. "I wish you had come along last night. Maybe you could have talked some sense into them."

Tara's face saddened. "I tried. I told them they needed to give you space and you had some things to sort out. They didn't want to listen. Xander wanted to know why I was defending Spike." She looked down. "I told him it wouldn't be a good idea to stake Spike."

Would Xander still be thinking along those lines? "You and Spike seem to be getting pretty close."

That brought the light back to Tara's face. "I couldn't handle the shop without him. It's difficult enough with school and the hours I work now; if he wasn't there to help, I don't know what I'd do. I think he may actually be enjoying it, though he'd never admit it."

"Are you saying Spike's found his true calling in retail?"

"Sounds silly, doesn't it?" But he knows way more about demonology than I do, and he has a fairly good grasp on spell mechanics. It's clear he reads more than he lets on."

Another gulp and the last of Buffy's drink was gone, removing any excuse to linger. Still, she felt no urgency to get out of the chair. "What should I do?" she asked, hoping against hope that might have the answer.

"Decide what you want. Stick to it. Stand up for it." Tara reached out to rest a hand atop Buffy's. "Live."

It was nearly the same advice Spike had given her when she'd been suffering from demon-induced delusions. Somehow, his words had seemed like a challenge; Tara's wrapped around her like a warm blanket fresh from the dryer. How could they be so similar yet provoke such different reactions?

Realizing she was putting off the inevitable, Buffy stood up. "I should go. Patrol…"

Tara nodded. "Of course. And there's Dawn to talk to. She wasn't terribly happy when I sent her home. I don't think she wanted to leave Spike when he was so upset. She's very protective of him."

Buffy didn't have to ask what Spike was so upset about; if Dawn had told him even a portion of what she'd apparently hear, it would have been enough to send him off. "As he is of her."

With that she said goodnight, heading back onto the streets. As she checked the alleys, though, her thoughts kept turning to Tara's words. She didn't want to have another confrontation with her friends, but it was inevitable. Last night she'd run from it twice when things got hot, settling nothing. This was precisely why she hadn't wanted to tell them in the first place.

Something about that thought niggled at her brain, but she couldn't quite latch onto what. The more she worked at it, the more she realized her mind was far from the business at hand. After twenty minutes, Buffy gave up patrolling and turned her feet toward Revello Drive.

Xander's car was once more parked out front, causing her to hesitate before she continued up the walk. Decide what I want. Stick to it. Stand up for it. Here goes another round of Buffy of the stompy foot.

There were voices from the living room as she entered, murmuring low enough she couldn't make out the words. She recognized them instantly, though, sounds that had become so familiar over the past six years. Firmly, she closed the front door and the murmuring stopped. "Buffy? Is that you?" came Willow's voice.

"Yeah. Gave up on patrol early tonight." She moved to stand in the doorway to the living room and discovered Xander and Willow standing. Willow looked nervous; Xander looked unhappy. "Where's Dawn?" she asked, trying to focus on what she wanted to do first.

"Upstairs. She was already home when I got here. Guess the Magic Box closed early today or something."

"I ran into Tara downtown. She said they decided they needed a little time off, opted not to stay open late."

"Well, Anya would have loved that." There was a world of hurt in Xander's tone, more than enough to cover her, Spike and Anya, with leftovers for the next week. She wasn't going to go there, wasn't going to get caught in that confrontation before she spoke to Dawn.

Without a word, she turned toward the stairs. "Buffy, we need to talk," came Willow's voice from behind her.

She paused, one hand resting on the smooth wood of the rail. "We do -- but I want to talk to Dawn first."

"Maybe we should talk first, present a united front." Willow was offering her best conciliatory tone, but it wasn't going to fly. Not this time.

Knowing she shouldn't, Buffy turned back. "This isn't about being united or being the Scoobies. This is about me talking to my sister about a secret I kept from her that's come out in the worst possible way. It's not something I necessarily want to do, but I can't put it off because she's already talked to Spike about it. And, no, he didn't go running to her trying to get on her good side. She's the one who brought the subject up to him."

They looked surprised, as well they should. "How did you…?" Xander asked.

"Because he happened to be with Tara when I ran into her. He told me so I'd be prepared." She could feel herself growing angry again, which was precisely what she didn't want to do. Taking a deep breath, she tried to center herself. "I'm going to talk to Dawn now. If you want, we can continue this when I'm done."

She nearly sprinted up the stairs, not giving them time to say more. Pausing only to make sure they weren't following, Buffy knocked at Dawn's door. "Go away," was the immediate response.

Buffy opened the door a crack. "It's me. Can I come in?"

She took Dawn's silence for assent and headed inside. Her sister was sprawled on her bed; schoolbooks scattered across the surface. "I'm doing my homework," she said sulkily as Buffy found a chair not draped with teenage stuff.

"Good, but I didn't come up here to talk to you about that. I wanted to talk to you about Spike. Well, me and Spike."

Dawn stared at her for a long moment, then turned her head to glance significantly at the door. Buffy was pretty certain she didn't hear anyone lingering outside, but if Dawn was uncomfortable, they weren't going to have the talk they needed to. "Want to go outside?" she asked.

Didn't take more than a second for the girl to be off the bed and down the stairs, making a sharp left into the dining room, through the kitchen and out the back door. As Buffy followed in her wake, Willow made a move to join them, but stopped at Buffy's look.

Dawn was waiting near the bench at the back of the yard, shifting her weight from one foot to another. Buffy moved slowly, reluctance helping to stay her feet. "Ummm…" she said by way of an opening.

Dawn tapped her foot.

Buffy sat, sliding her hands down the tops of her leg toward her knee.

Dawn shifted again, waiting.

"This isn't easy," Buffy began at last.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

No, this wasn't going to be an easy conversation. "It's…it's complicated."

"I'm hearing that a lot. What I'm not hearing is why the guy who was good enough to take care of me during the summer isn't coming around any more or why now he's an evil, disgusting thing, but everyone still runs to him when they need his help."

Buffy winced. Dawn had just summed up the situation pretty accurately. "I didn't mean to hurt him."

"If you didn't, you were the only one. Xander's been talking all evening about what they should do about him." Dawn came and knelt in front of her sister. "You're not going to let him do that, are you?"

Big brown eyes were looking up at her, framed by long straight hair. Unable to suppress a smile, she reached out to brush the strands back. "No one's going to stake Spike. It's not like he's hurt anyone."

Dawn looked relieved by this news, sitting back on her heels. "Why didn't you tell me?" she asked again.

Good question. Because I was scared? Ashamed? Terrified? "I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing. I tried to break it off several times, but I never seemed to be able to." Buffy swallowed. "I don't love him, Dawn. I couldn't…"

"All afraid he'll go evil on you and hurt everyone?" Dawn sighed. "He's not Angel, Buffy."

For the first time, Buffy realized Dawn had never seen Spike when she and he had fought. She'd never seen him lunge for Buffy's neck in game face, fangs bared and ready to add a third slayer to his collection. In fact, Buffy couldn't think of a single occasion where Dawn had seen Spike in game face. "No, he's not. Spike's pure vampire, Dawn, with nothing but that chip in his head restraining him. I mean, I know he's never shown that side to you…"

Dawn's brows drew together. "What do you mean? Like all 'grrr' and fangy? Of course he has."

This was disturbing news. "He has? When?"

"While you were gone." Dawn's face took on that slightly uncomfortable look it always did when talking about the time Buffy had been dead. "He taught me how to stake a vampire. Not like he expected me to go out slaying or anything like that. He just wanted me to know how just in case. Anyway, he got a cardboard roll and made me practice on him until I could hit the heart pretty easily. Then he had me come at him and suddenly there it was."

Buffy remembered her first vampire. She'd had no idea what to expect and the sight of yellow eyes and fangs had nearly cost her life. "What happened?"

"I freaked." Dawn looked sheepish. "I just totally freaked out and dropped the tube I was using as a stake. He said that's why he did it, because some vampires rely on surprising their victim. He didn't want me to just freeze."

One more thing she hadn't known. One more thing she'd missed. "That was smart of him," Buffy admitted. "I'm glad he did it."

That brought a grin. "Cool. Xander was mad at him, said Spike shouldn't be scaring me like that. Spike just told him to bugger off."

Clearly Spike had been teaching Dawn more than just self-defense moves. Casting a glance toward the house, Buffy could see Willow and Xander moving about in the kitchen. It didn't look like they were trying to overhear, but she knew they were watching. "I don't know what else to tell you about this. What Spike and I…what we had is over and I don't think either one of us really wants to share the details."

"Painful breakup?"

Buffy nodded. It wasn't the whole truth, but there was more than a little there. It had hurt and she didn't want to share. What she wanted to do was go to bed and pull the cover over her head until it all went away.

"So, is it going to be a problem for me to be working at the shop with Spike there?"

"Huh? No, no. I trust him with you." 'Til the end of the world -- even if that happens to be tonight. "I just don't think he's going to be coming around here much. At least, not for a while."

They were being watched. This time, she saw them standing at the window, looking out into the dark. "I should go talk to Willow and Xander."

She saw the thinning of the lips in disapproval. "Dawn, I have to. There are some things I need to settle with them before we can all move forward and there's going to be some yelling involved. The sooner I get that over, the better." Buffy reached out to touch Dawn's hair again. It helped somewhat, made her feel calmer. "Seeing how everyone's reacting, I think you can understand why I didn't want to tell anyone."

"Oh, yeah. I'm a little surprised Spike didn't let on. You would've thought he'd be singing it from the rooftops."

"I asked him not to." And he didn't. I threatened him, but he never called me on it, never let on to any of them about what was going on.

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to center herself. "We good here?"

Not completely, Buffy was sure, but Dawn nodded her head. It hadn't been quite as painful as she'd thought. That portion of the fun was going to come now.

When they re-entered the house, Dawn didn't pause to speak but headed straight for the stairs, leaving Buffy alone to face her two oldest friends in Sunnydale. "Let's go into the living room."

She didn't sit, just took a stance in front of the fireplace, arms folded. "You said we needed to talk. Let's talk.

Willow glanced at Xander before starting. "We're worried about you, Buffy. This thing with Spike…it's not healthy."

Buffy didn't rise to the bait, just waited. "I mean, I know you've been going finding it a little rough since you came back," Willow continued, "but Spike?"

"You don't know how hard it's been just being here." She could feel her shoulders tensing

"You could have told us," Xander said.

"You didn't want to know." A bitterness to equal his crept into her voice. "You were so happy that you'd managed to bring me back that you didn't want to know where I'd been or how much everything hurt."

"Right. So you turn to him."

She didn't feel a sudden crack inside, merely the last fault line in a network of fissures. "Did either of you stop to think of what happened after you did the spell, about how I got back into Sunnydale?"

"We thought the spell would…"

One hand came up of its own volition and Buffy forced her fingers to uncurl from the fist it had formed. "I had to dig my way out, Will. I suddenly found myself in a little box with stale air and I had to claw my way back to the surface. I had to claw through wood and dirt with it falling down on me and I couldn't breathe and I thought I would never get out. I crawled out of my grave just like a vampire."

She turned her head back toward Xander. "Tell me again why you're surprised I talked to Spike."

For a moment, Buffy thought he'd answer with a smart comeback. If he did, their relationship would never be the same. He'd once seen how much the idea of being turned and all that entailed frightened her; how could he possibly not understand?

He didn't speak, just turned away. Buffy looked back at Willow, waiting.

"Okay, so there were things he could help you with." Willow's voice was starting to get squeaky, a sure sign she was heading toward the defensive. "But sleeping with him? Without telling your best friend?"

There were so many answers to that, so many places she could go. All the time she'd worried about Willow's magic addiction, taking care of her when she'd been screaming to talk to about this impossible, appalling situation. All the little hints Willow suspected, but she never came out and asked directly, even when Spike began taking morning strolls to see her. "It just happened," she said at last.

"So it was 'you're evil, Spike; take me now?'" Xander didn't look at her, just leaned heavily against the doorframe.

"You know, I think how it happened it is pretty personal and I'm not particularly feeling in a sharing mood."

"What a surprise." He turned to face her, hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans. "You haven't been in a sharing mood for months, Buff. We used to tell each other things, used to talk about our problems. Now you seem intent on keeping dirty little secrets."

"Spike fought with you all summer. You trusted him with Dawn. You trusted him with Dawn so much that she's bonded with him like he was her older brother or something."

"So we all go along like everything's normal until the next time it 'just happens?'" The words came from Willow. "We're just supposed to pretend -- la, la, la -- you never did this? Do you want a disinvite spell or are you going to just take his word that he won't come sneaking into the house?"

She'd begun to build up steam, words spilling out furiously. "For that matter, why are you taking the side of a vampire -- the soulless, evil, undead -- against your friends? That doesn't seem normal or healthy. This isn't high school, Buffy, and he isn't Angel."

For the first time, some of the undercurrents were beginning to become clear to Buffy, the simmering strings of resentment she'd felt but hadn't understood. "I'm sorry you guys don't like what I've done or the fact I didn't tell you. I didn't tell you because I didn't want to go through exactly what you're doing now. This was my choice and I have to live with it. It is not, however, open for discussion. We're not seeing each other any more and that's the end of it." She looked specifically at Xander. "And there will not be anymore talk about staking Spike. For one thing, it's upsetting Dawn."

She expected more argument, but except for a mumbled grouse from Xander she didn't catch, there was silence. Xander was studying the pattern of the floorboards, while Willow had the determined, jutting chin thing going on. They weren't arguing, but it was far from over.

After a long, uncomfortable silence, Willow did her best to put a smile on her face. "Still friends?"

Buffy softened. She wanted to soften, wanted to believe it would be okay. "Still friends."

Willow hugged her and, after a moment, Xander joined them. There was stiffness to the gesture, though, that hurt more than just a little. No, they weren't good with this.

They more wandered out of the embrace than actually released, standing awkwardly in a circle. "I, uh, actually have a day shift tomorrow," Buffy said at last. "I'd better get some dinner and hit the sack."

"Sure," Willow chirped. "Hey, Xander, why don't I walk you to your car."

"You don't have to leave on my account. I mean, you came over to see Willow, didn't you?"

She meant it, hoping to get a smile. None came. "Yeah, but you're right. Time for us working folk to hit the hay. I'll see you later, Buffy."

They scooted out the door, leaving her with no illusions as to the topic of conversation. All she'd managed to do was hold the storm at bay for a little while. When Giles arrived to tend to the mess left by Anya's sudden departure, she had no doubt the clouds would gather again.

For a brief moment, Buffy thought of the mac and cheese she'd planned for dinner and quickly rejected it. She wasn't hungry now.

On to Episode 5: Reactions III

Back to Episode 4: Reactions I