Buffy picked at her salad, not really able to work up much enthusiasm for the leafy greens. She couldn't shake the feeling that she really should be somewhere else. At least she didn't have to talk much since Willow was babbling on about Vienna and the research she'd done about the city last night.

"Don't you think so, Buffy?"

She looked up from shoving one piece of lettuce under the other with a start. "Huh?"

It was impossible to miss the look that passed between Willow and Xander. "Willow was suggesting that maybe Greece might be a good place to meet up for a weekend, do the beach thing. We haven't done that in a while."

Not since that very lazy summer after the defeat of Adam. With the demon population in Sunnydale temporarily reduced, they'd spent a lot of time at the beach. It'd been a lot of fun with her and Willow and Xander...and Anya, Tara and Riley. "Yeah," she managed. "It sounds good."

Another look and she knew what was coming; she'd seen those expressions too often before. "Buffy, is everything okay?" Willow asked in a nervous tone. "When you guys left last night..."

"It's fine," Buffy said quickly. No, it wasn't, but she didn't feel like having her raw feelings picked over at the moment. "Dawn and I had a bit of an argument, but we're fine."

"I don't understand why she looked so upset," Xander said. "With Dawn heading off to university, I thought she'd be glad you'd have a friend in Rome."

"That wasn't the point...and I really don't want to talk about it. We do have the morning off tomorrow, so I was thinking we could go shopping."

The change of subject was abrupt, but Willow played along, turning the discussion to shoes and various sales she'd seen in the paper. Now it was Xander's turn to pick at his lunch and sit silently while the women talked. Buffy couldn't help but feel relieved that Xander wasn't pushing the issue, but she wasn't under the illusion he'd stay quiet forever. She'd be a fool to think the way Spike had hustled her and Dawn out of the restaurant last night hadn't been discussed and she was certain Xander had cast Spike as the villain in the piece.

Buffy herself had vacillated between beating herself up for keeping the secret -- and such a ridiculous little secret it was -- and anger at Spike for not letting her know he was alive and for not mentioning he was in Rome, but she wasn't sure which one of them was actually at fault. It'd been so great these last few months; she and Spike had talked about so many things, opened themselves to each other as never before. The idea that he'd kept secrets from her hurt...but she'd kept secrets from him. And now they weren't talking again and she hadn't realized how much she'd miss that until the silence that had pervaded their room that morning. She knew that silence too well and thought she'd seen the last of it.

Abruptly, she put her fork down. "I need to get back, guys. There's something I need to do."

Another one of those damn looks between Xander and Willow. She was probably going to regret this, but... "Okay, I know you want to say something. Go on. I'm listening."

If they looked at each other like that again, Buffy swore she was going to reach across the table and strangle them both. "We're worried about you," Willow said quietly.

"If this is about Spike..."

"Who else would it be about?" Xander replied. "And I remember, Willow -- you want us to stick to 'I' statements, but that's never worked in the past. Besides, I think Buffy knows how I feel. All I'm asking is that you hear me out, Buffy, because given what you said the other night, you're probably never going to want to talk to me again after this."

Buffy was tempted to just walk away now, not even listen. They'd done this so many times; Spike's evil -- he has a soul -- he tried to kill you -- he's helped me -- he's betrayed us -- you trusted him with Dawn. It was the same litany, over and over, like a rerun of a bad sitcom. But she kept her seat because Xander was a friend...and standing by her friends was what she did, wasn't it?

"You're not going to change your mind about being with Spike," Xander said. "I get that. I'm not going to understand or like it, but I realize that nothing I say is going to make a damn bit of difference. That doesn't mean I'm not going to tell you when I see something that I don't think is right."

He paused, but Buffy remained silent. "I think he's trying to keep you away from your friends. It's obvious he didn't want Willow to come to Rome and I'm surprised he let you come to London and see us."

The decision to hear him out flew out the window. "Where the hell do you get the idea I need anyone's permission to do anything? What an unmitigated piece of patriarchal macho crap."

Willow and Xander stared at her. "Um, I'm the one who's supposed to be rebelling against male patriarchy," Willow said meekly.

"That may be your mother's justification for why you're gay, but slayer here; I don't put up with it either. Spike tried to tell me I couldn't come London to see you guys, I'd kick his butt around the seven hills and back again -- and he knows it. For your information, Spike's the one who pushed to make this trip; I wasn't at all sure I wanted to deal with you guys yet because of just what you're doing now. I was the one who wanted to keep our relationship secret because I didn't want interventions or arguments or attempts to save me from myself. As for keeping me from my friends, funny, but a large part of why both Dawn and Spike were upset with me is that they feel that when I've got a choice between my family and my friends, the friends keep coming first."

"We never ask you to put us ahead of family," Willow protested.

Buffy gave her a level stare. "How many times in college did you want me to throw over a date with Riley to do something with you?"

"That was different. He was the boyfriend and we're best friends and..." Willow trailed off, as if actually saying it out loud made her think about what she was saying.

"Spike and Dawn are my family...and I've apparently hurt them on more than one occasion by making them feel they were less important to me than you guys. We've all done it. Xander, how many times did you take Willow's side over Anya?"

"Don't bring Anya into this," Xander said with gritted teeth. "Don't you dare put her anywhere near that..."

"But Anya is part of this," Willow said. "You kept asking why Spike got a second chance and Anya didn't. And...you did take my side against Anya and I liked it."

Somehow, Buffy got the feeling that this conversation was very quickly going to stop being about her and Spike and become about Willow and Xander. For once, she didn't mind; maybe they'd get caught up in their own damn issues and leave hers alone. "But Anya usually had it wrong," Xander protested.

"And notice whose side Spike always took, whether she was right or not. Tara always took my side in public."

There was a strange look on Xander's face, as if he was struggling with some deep emotion. "Maybe you can answer the question, Buffy," he said, a deep bitterness in his voice. "Why'd Spike come back? What did he do that was so great that whoever decides these things thought he deserved another shot?"

The answer save the world was on the tip of her tongue, but Buffy decided it was time they were given some of the details Andrew had clearly omitted. "I think we all know resurrections are done by individuals, not great powers." Willow winced. "The short version is that someone trapped Spike in the amulet he wore to close the Hellmouth and brought him back to screw with Angel. There's some prophecy that having two souled vampires around supposedly messes up."

"So it was really about Angel, not Spike?" Xander for silent for a long moment. A very long moment. Buffy was about to ask him if he was okay when he said quietly, "Have I said how much I hate that guy?"

"Frequently."

Xander sighed and motioned the waiter over, pulling out his wallet. "I think we're ready for the check. No, I'm paying this one. Call it patriarchal macho privilege."

He was desperately trying to make a joke and lighten the mood, which meant he was avoiding something. It also meant there'd still be a flow of tacky comments, but the level of vitriol was probably going to go down somewhat. Whether it meant he'd ultimately accept her relationship with Spike was another question altogether, one that probably wasn't going to answered any time soon. At the moment, she was willing to take what she could get.

They walked back to the Council's headquarters in silence and Buffy reflected it was probably the easiest they' d been with each other in quite some time. It also felt remarkably like the old days back at Sunnydale High; she had a boyfriend who wasn't necessarily what her friends wanted and neither of them were dating anyone. Seems they didn't need to be on a Hellmouth for their love lives to be screwed up.

"Kennedy's flying back to South America tomorrow," Willow said as they approached the building. "Giles is sending her new watcher with her. Apparently she didn't raise too much of an argument after what happened in the graveyard."

"She's probably glad to get away after the way Faith leaned on her yesterday."

Buffy smiled. She'd purposely avoided the situation, letting Faith work out her righteous indignation on her fellow (and junior) slayer. Faith was not the most subtle of instructors but she had a way of driving the point home that Kennedy wasn't likely to forget. "Think she'll remember not to go off half-cocked like she did?"

The three walked in silence for another moment. "Nah," they all replied in unison.

They were still laughing when they walked into the main hall. "B!" Faith called out. "Guess who got back from Iceland early?"

Andrew appeared from behind Faith, smiling that inane smile of his. "Buffy! I've heard the wonderful news that you've reunited with your vam-pyre. I'm...ack!"

The words were cut off when Buffy slammed him against the wall. "Give me the definition of a secret, Andrew."

Xander and Willow started forward, but Faith waved them back, a grin on her face. "I, uh, it's something you don't tell people."

"Good. So explain to me why you promised Spike you wouldn't tell me he was alive...and then told everyone except me and Dawn."

"It just slipped out," Andrew protested.

"I suppose 'Guess what? Spike's alive' could slip out without meaning to," Faith said.

"So could 'you'll never guess who I saw in Los Angeles', which is what he said when he called me," Willow added.

"I got a fifteen minute rhapsody on Spike's manly qualities," Xander said.

Faith and Willow groaned. "No wonder you were in a bad mood."

"Can you...can you put me down?" Andrew squeaked.

Buffy knocked him against the wall again. "Now explain to me how it could 'slip out' to all my friends while you crashed on my couch and raided my refrigerator for two months and never mentioned either that Spike was alive or that he was in Rome and apparently came to see me."

"It wasn't just Spike! Angel was with him and...ow!"

"B, you're going to dent the wall if you keep knocking his head against it."

"Ask me if I care."

A small crowd was starting to gather, but no one was asking the question because they probably knew the answer. "You slept on my couch, you ate my food, you used my brand new oatmeal mask without asking, you kept drooling over the guy I was dating and you never once told me Spike. Was. In. Rome."

She punctuated each of the last words with another bang of Andrew's head against the wall. There was something terribly satisfying about this. If Andrew had just spilled the beans as he always did, she wouldn't be going through this stress.

"Buffy, luv, stop abusing the boy. He's not worth it."

It was the laughter in Spike's voice that caused Buffy to turn, her hand still firmly in place around Andrew's throat. He'd come through the circle of worried-looking watchers and was standing almost beside her, just far enough away that he wasn't invading her personal space. There was a smile on his face, his eyes danced with amusement, and, best of all, she saw no trace of the withdrawal that had been there that morning.

She released her hold on Andrew, ignoring him as he slumped dramatically to the floor. "I don't want to fight anymore, Spike," she said as she flung her arms around his neck.

To her immense relief, he hugged her close. "I'd love to oblige, but you know what a bitch you can be and I'm a sodding bastard at times. 'Fraid this won't be the last time."

It wasn't "I forgive you" or "I'm sorry," but somehow the admission made her feel better. "I know. Can we at least try not to go to bed mad? Mom always said that was important."

"Joyce was a smart lady." He pulled back just enough to slip his hand under her chin and tilt it slightly upward. "She had a smart daughter, too."

The kiss was light, no grand passion but reaffirming that they were going to work through this. Unfortunately, almost immediately there were sounds of protest. "I insist this stops immediately; it's offensive and a crime against nature."

Havers, naturally. "It's also a crime against nature to interrupt a fellow when he's trying to make it right with his girl," Spike shot back.

"Miss Summers, you can't possibly believe it's right to have a...relationship with a vampire who..."

"Fought to win his soul back? Helped me with...how many apocalypses?"

"Five, I think."

Buffy toted them up in her head. "Adam doesn't count."

"There was the one in Los Angeles, though that wasn't with you."

"Five apocalypses and sacrificed himself to shut the Hellmouth. You talk a lot about what I'm supposed to do, Mr. Havers; let me ask what you've done lately."

Havers clearly wasn't used to be spoken to in such a manner, given the way his mouth opened and closed without any sound emerging. Around him, more than a few eyebrows were raised and one or two of the crowd looked away as Buffy stared them down. To put it simply, she was tired of this shit.

Giles chose that moment to appear. "Is there a problem?"

Havers turned to Giles with an expression of righteous indignation. "Deal with her! She's your slayer."

With a sigh, Giles removed his glasses, extracted a pocket handkerchief and began to clean them. "What do you feel she's done wrong this time?"

"She announced to the world that she's dating Spike," Xander said. "Unequix...unequit...Willow, what's that word?"

"Unequivocally," Willow supplied.

"I see." Giles glanced down toward the floor. "Andrew, what are you doing back from Iceland?"

Andrew struggled to his feet. "I finished my mission early -- successfully, this time -- and returned to find myself caught in the midst of a misunderstanding with Buffy."

"I asked him why he'd managed to tell everyone but me and Dawn about Spike's return from the dead."

"And banged his head against the wall a few times," Faith added.

"Buffy, I'm surprised. We just had that paneling done; you didn't dent it, did you?"

"No dents," she assured him. "Either in the wall or Andrew's head...unfortunately."

Andrew squeaked and ducked behind Faith, who just rolled her eyes. "The show's over," Giles said. "I'm certain you all have work to do."

Slowly, the crowd began to disperse, but Buffy couldn't help noticing the backward glances and whispered conversations. They weren't going to confront her directly, not after her little demonstration on Andrew, but it'd be a very long time before the Council accepted this, if ever. Xander would probably agree to stand as Best Man for Spike before the Council accepted her relationship.

Andrew tried to sidle away, but Giles crooked his finger and the boy reluctantly followed. Before Giles could get away completely, Buffy called after him. "Giles, is it okay if Spike and I take a rain check on tonight's exercise? We, ah, need to take care of some things."

Spike squeezed her hand encouragingly and she smiled up at him. It felt good to be touching again. That had been the worst part; waking up and realizing they'd rolled away from each other during the night, something they never did.

Giles frowned, considering. "You were supposed to take some of the girls on a patrol." He glanced at Faith, Willow and Xander. "We could rearrange the groups slightly, I suppose."

It wasn't a question, but he was definitely checking to see if the others were willing to take up the slack. Faith shrugged almost immediately, indicating she probably didn't give a rat's ass, while Willow nodded enthusiastically, reaffirming her best friend status.

That just left Xander. He stood silent at first, his hands shoved into his pockets in a familiar stance. "Why not?" he said at last. "If you've got something you need to do, you should do it. We'll cover for you. That's what friends do."

Buffy wasn't certain if that was grudging acceptance or sarcasm, but she'd accept it at this point. "Thanks, guys. I appreciate it."

They were left alone in the entry hall, staring at each other at a gap that was at least narrowed even if it was still there. "Buffy, about last night..." Spike began, but stopped when she pressed her fingers against his lips.

"You're always the one who apologizes first," she told him. "This time, I think I need to. Then, we're going to talk."

Again, he was smiling. "Music to my ears, luv."

On to Part Eleven

Back to Part Nine