After the birth of Angel's son Connor, it is not surprising that fannish speculation immediately turned to thoughts of "if Angel can do it, why not Spike?"  After all, there are enough prophecies floating around the Buffyverse to cover all our vampires.  Short, fluffy, and just to imagine the scene when poor Xander find outs...

***

"I am so going to stake him. Just wait till I get my hands on him."

Spike thought of intervening, then decided he'd better not. At least he wasn't the one she was angry at. Watching his love pace up and the down the length of her living room, however, part of his ego had to wonder why none of her fury was being sent in his direction. "Um, pet? Angel wasn't there, remember? I'm the one responsible."

She stopped in her tracks, turning slowly to glare at him. "Did you know that a vampire could get a human pregnant?"

From her chair, Dawn giggled, clearly enjoying the confrontation. Spike would have given her a dirty look, but he decided it was best to keep Buffy in his sight at this moment. "No," he admitted a bit sheepishly.

"Did anyone ever bother to tell you about that little aspect of vampire biology, or did you just assume?"

Spike mumbled something, wondering if turning to dust would hurt much.

"I didn't hear you, Spike."

"Peaches told me one of the benefits of changing was not having to worry about such things."

She stared at him, her eyes narrowing. "Staking's not good enough. I'll tie him down and let the sun turn him into a crispy critter."

He'd heard that pregnant women were sometimes unreasonable, but had paid little heed, thinking he'd never have to deal with such a situation. "You're sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. I missed my period, been throwing up every morning, took the home test and went to the doctor. I'm pregnant."

Another giggle from Dawn. "It's not funny, Nibblet."

"I think it's great. I'm going to be an aunt."

This time, Spike did take his gaze from Buffy. "In my day, little sisters were expected to pitch in when a new baby came into the house – feeding, bathing, changing nappies…"

Dawn wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Gross."

He grinned. "Think of the impact to your extra-curricular activities."

"What extra-curricular activities?" she shot back as she got out of her chair to answer the chime of the doorbell.

Spike rose from the couch and crossed to where Buffy stood, her arms folded tightly across her chest. Carefully, he reached out to touch her cheek. "Aren't you just a little bit glad, pet?

She looked up at him. "Right now, I think I'm still in shock."

"Yeah, well, that makes two of us." He pulled her into his arms, not knowing what else to say.

"Whoa! I did not need to see this."

"Harris." Spike let Buffy go, even as he felt her pull away. "I should have known. Just what we needed to top a perfect evening."

Xander and Anya stood in the archway that separated the hall from the living room, pizza and videos in hand, both looking a bit bewildered. "What is going on?" Xander demanded. "What's bad, blond and evil doing here? And what's he doing with his hands on you?"

"I'm going to be an aunt," Dawn said cheerfully as she slipped past, back to her chair. Not for the first time, Spike noticed it provided her with a perfect ringside seat for the festivities.

"Aunt? That means…"

"Buffy's having a baby!'' Anya hurried forward to give Buffy a big bear hug after dumping the videos on Xander's pizza. "I am so excited for you. It may cause a problem with your bridesmaid dress, though."

"Baby." As always, when faced with unpleasant information, Xander began to sound like a stuck record. "You're having a baby. And the father is…"

Spike sighed. "It's me, Harris. We don't know how, we don't know why," he paused and grinned, "well, we do know how."

Buffy punched him in the arm. "Ow! That hurt!"

"Wipe that smirk off your face, or the baby won't have a father."

It was going to be the death of his Big Bad image, but Spike couldn't help the grin he felt spreading across his face. "Father. Such a lovely word."

Buffy growled at him, but was prevented from landing another blow by Anya stepping between them. "You shouldn't distress yourself. You're a mother; you need calm and rest. I'll throw the baby shower, of course, and you can pay me back by throwing mine when Xander and I are expecting our first."

"First?" Xander's voice was starting to rise in pitch. "Anya, we need to talk."

"Isn't one of the reasons to get married to have children?"

"Well, I'd like to be married a while before I even think about it." He looked at Buffy. "You still haven't explained how you two -- why you two…"

He broke off, looking as if he'd just encountered some hoard of minor demons whose purpose was to turn his world upside down.

"Spike's had a crush on Buffy for years," Dawn cheerfully supplied. "Big Sis just finally came to her senses."

Spike leveled a warning finger at her. "You are not too big to put over my knee."

Dawn stuck her tongue out at him. "Willow will be so annoyed she missed all the fun."

"Fun?" If Xander's eyes got any bigger, his head might just explode. Idly, Spike considered the amusement factor might be worth the clean up. "This is not 'fun' by any definition of the word."

Anya started to pout. "You don't like babies?"

"It's not that I don't like them, it's just that I'm having a hard time dealing with this."

"Fine!" Anya stalked toward the kitchen. "Be that way."

"Anya!" Xander started after her, realized he still held the pizza, turned back and shoved the box into Buffy's hands. "Anya, can we talk about this?"

Buffy looked down at the box. "I think it has bell peppers. I can smell them."

Spike sniffed. "Garlic, too. Still hasn't figured out the stuff doesn't bother me."

"No. I mean, I can smell the peppers."

"What? Oh…"

Her face had gone pale, her eyes unfocusing slightly and Spike reached out to grab the box before she dropped it. She didn't even look to see if he'd caught it before she started to move, heading down the hall toward the bathroom.

He knew what was about to happen, and he wondered if he should follow. He wasn't at all certain his love would appreciate him being there while she tossed her cookies. He wasn't certain he would appreciate being there.

Dawn cheerfully rose and took control of the offending pizza. "I'll put it in the dining room and see if Buffy needs anything." She glanced at the video. "Ooh, Apocalypse Now."

Spike was tempted to make some smart comment on Xander's taste in movies, but decided to answer the phone that had begun to ring insistently. Snatching up the receiver, he snapped, "Chaos Central."

"Uh…"

"Bloody hell. I mean, Summers' residence."

"Spike? What are you doing answering Buffy's phone?"

Now the evening truly was complete. "Angel. Just the vamp I need to talk to. Tell me, have you ever thought that taking a long cruise might be good for your health…?"